maeve_sp

I have just recovered from BiCon, even though it is two days later. I have to say I had an amazing time. It feels like a two-week summer camp condensed into a long weekend. I am posting this in case somebody has something they want to say to me, or to get in contact. I will be posting a longer entry for friends.

It's all set and definite now: we're moving to London the first week of January. I'm excited and scared and excited!

Now, the first thing we need is a room! We were thinking originally to rent a house straight, but have decided to share first and then when we're settled with jobs, know the city a bit more, etc. find a house. And we're letting everyone know. If you'd be so kind as to forward to people, I've made this little text you can copy and paste into email:

Hi,

We are couple from Madrid who will be moving to London in January from Madrid, and are looking for rooms in a shared flat/house. We are quite active in the poly, lgbt and kink communities and are looking for a like-minded household and people. We would prefer two rooms in the same house, but are also open to a large double room for the both of us. Our plan is to stay 2-6 months, and then to rent a house to ourselves, though if we're comfortable in the shared house we could stay there much longer.  

We are quite quiet and calm people, though sociable. That means that while we enjoy meeting people and chatting with housemates, the occassional dinner party, etc. we think of our place mainly as a place to chill out. And we're very excited about moving to London and getting involved in the different scenes!

If you have a room or two available you can contact us at maevesp@gmail.com.

Thanks! Will keep you posted about how things evolve. 

 

Just a quick update:

Things with D have gone well. We have talked and agreed to make some changes, to try and move things forward a bit. I think we realise we are both very fond of each other and want to spend more time together, make things work better. I hope we manage.

I've also had a bit of time to rest and think and do things I like. Yesterday I went to a meeting of Mujeres Jóvenes, a feminist organisation I've been meaning to join for ages. The funny thing is that both Delfina and her girlfriend are there. But we get on ok, even if we're not used to seeing each other yet. The association sounds promising. I'm hoping I'll be able to do things I've been wanting to for a while, and build contacts in the field as well.

After that I went out for drinks to celebrate Jen's DEA, which was fun. Today I woke up late (needed to catch up on sleep) and have been tidying my room, which is something I needed to do quite badly. I've finally got my summer clothes all out and my winter clothes all put away. It still needs more work, but it's a good start. hopefully i'll be able to find my stuff now!

Today I meant to go to the alternative pride (Orgullo Migrante) and then Don Giovanni and then to a party of this group influenced by the Ethical Slut (it's called that in Spanish). But that all seems to much and I think I might cut Pride out and go to the rest of the activities tomorrow. It seems like I'm always missing stuff, but nevermind! I have trouble believing I can't do everything, though I'm getting better at it. I'm trying to find the peace I need to not be anxious and to focus while also having a bit of a social life and doing things I believe in (and also making enough money). It's a challenge, but I guess it's what everyone struggles with. So I'm a bit happier with where I stand in life right now...

i've finally arrived up. We left Sat at 7.00 am (that's when i set off for the airport) and got to the hotel today at 8.00. We flew through Helsinki, having a 4 hour stopover there. it felt like a very very long day. it was also very wierd getting to crazy Delhi through scandinavia. only made the cultural shock worse. When we got off the plane it was all foggy and we got out of the airport onto a carpark with military men and old sikh men on bikes. all the men wear really bleak colours: grey, brown, dark blue, black... So it was quite dreary and sort of coming out of a dream, specially because of the mist. We got to the hotel and slept for a couple of hours. Then we booked a tour and got on to it! The hotel has provided a driver. So today we've seen a baahi temple that looks like a lotus flower, india gate, lots of arts and crafts and had a dinner. And now my family is sleeping while i'm down here writing away...

We have 1 and a half days of Delhi left. Then we fly to Pune where we will spend a week between an ashram and visiting nearby places. hopefully we'll be able to rest there. i'm just ever so tired that i long to do nothing, so that i'm able to take everything in. i think this is going to be a very interesting holiday...

I'm alone in the office. All the colleages I got on with have left. I'm going to miss them. And now we have to reorganise the workload so split it between those of us that are left. The good part is that I'm going to feel busy again. The bad part is - everything else. I should also start another negotiation with my boss. He doesn't want to change anything despite the fact he creates conflict wherever he goes. *sigh*

On the sunny side, I've nearly moved into my new place. I love it. I've got a huge bed and a nice big sunny room, lovely housemates. I hope I can stay there for a long long while.

Hello, everyone!

I'm back in Madrid, after 3 and a half weeks away: Málaga, Barcelona, Cartagena. It's been quite memorable. I've had a bit of everything: fun, play, quiet, tourism, food - what more can you have?

On the down side, my mother's car, which I had borrowed for the trip, broke down on Friday, when I had to be in at work on Monday. I worked in Cartagena, in Matiz's office, which was nice. Quite a nice way of gradually getting back into work. Unfortunately, I think it mighthave gotten me into trouble with my boss. He wanted me back by Wednesday at the latest and I came in to work today. The reasons he gave seemed pointless to me (other departments talking, that I was the only person who hadn't taken longer holidays - ?!?). On the roadtrip back from Cartagena last night I ran all the scenarios in my head. Would it be so bad if they fired me? Should I resign myself? What other stuff could I go into? And suddenly I feel excited and full of energy. I'll have to think how I'm going to transition, but I am for sure not going to stay this way!

This is a little something I wrote yesterday and wanted to share. Don't usually write poems, but...


A mis presentes ausentes

Si nunca te tuve,
¿por qué tengo miedo a perderte?
Si nunca has pasado por aquí,
¿cómo me has marcado así?
Supongo que ya eres parte de mí.

Nunca estuviste aquí dentro.
Siempre te quise en la distancia.
Piel contra piel.
Te quiero más de lo que puedo o quiero explicar.
Pero nunca estuve enamorada de ti.

Y te doy gracias por todo.
Gracias por descubrirme para mí y para tí,
Por amarme,
Por dejarme y no irte.
Sin estar aquí.
Piel contra piel.

Te quiero por ti, no por lo que me das.
Por eso te sigo queriendo en la distancia.

Agradecimiento

Gracias.
Gracias por dejarme conocerte.
Gracias por no convertirte en un ideal.
Gracias por verme.
Gracias por no tener miedo a criticarme, pero enjugar mis lágrimas cuando me equivoco.
Gracias por tener fe en mi y en mi fuerza, y no convertir eso en obligación.
Gracias por devolverme mis debilidades sin echármelas en cara.
Gracias por dejarme seguir siendo una desconocida.

Gracias, en definitiva, por ayudarme a crecer.

Hello, everyone!

Well, it's been ages, so I thought I'd let you know how I'm doing. I've had quite a bit going on:

1. Found a place! A tiny little studio I adore, very near the centre (10 mins walk from Alonso Martínez). I'm so happy. At last living alone. Thought I'd feel lonely or something, but I love it. It's giving me the calm I need to start sorting myself out. It's only for four months, though. So if you know about anything from November onwards, let me know!

2. Joined a girls fighting club, a bit like erotic fighting. Not trying to put on a show, but enjoy fighting another girl while wearing little clothes and rubbing... Well, you know me, I get into everything that's like that!

3. Had a MAJOR job crisis in which I felt really insulted, I asked for a salary raise and better working conditions (such as support for what I needed, a more strict timetable, etc.) and got denied everything. So have decided to start looking for something else. Have had a few interviews since, but nothing has come of them yet. I've starting interviewing, though! Again, if you hear of anything...

4. Things with D 1.2 (the first D, second version) are going really well, methiks. We don't get to see each other that often now, but we manage. I finally met the girlfriend about a month ago! That was ever so nice. I found her nice, charming, beautiful, easy to talk to... And she seemed to like me too...

No other people in sight, but don't feel like it either. Talking to D (1.2) the other day he said "I know - it's you don't want to make the social effort of sleeping with someone new", which sums it up amazingly well. I want to focus on me, D, and my friends. New people are nice, but I can't really make the effort. Even my dwarf activities have decreased. Meaning? Not much bdsm, swingeringing, group sex, etc. I've been too concentrated on other areas of my life. But my increasing libido might mean I just jump into it soon.

5. Reading "Catch 22" and loving it. Have to stop myself from writing ridiculous stuff. :D

6. Planning my holidays: Malaga, Barcelona, Cartagena. I love all you people taking me in! Having practically no savings nor extra payment means I can't afford anything else.

That's all!!! (Well, a big chunk of it at least!)

Today is the big day. I've had an early start so I can pack everything and be at my Mum's by 11 or 12 at the latest. It doesn't look like there's much left after all the packing I've already done (moved most of the stuff two weekends back). Yet it might still prove quite a bit. Wish me luck! Hope I'm not too knackered for afternoon and evening activities: going to meet Sandra for activism and then dinner at Willow's. It's great staying in Madrid for long weekends! Hope you all have a nice one too!

Just thought I'd post a cheery entry for a change. You folks only hear me moan! I'm at work, it's Friday, the day's cloudy but extremely clear (love this kind of weather). Might be meeting D (the guy) tonight. Life is good.

Yesterday the most amazing thing happened. I was in Vigo airport (had been flown out there for training) and standing in the queue waiting to board I ran into this friend from school. Quite amazing. I hadn't seen her since we finished Selectividad. So we had our chat, asked after everyone. She told me that this other friend, whom I'd been quite close to at one point was in hospital with a self-immune disorder. She weighed 45 kilos and had had most of her intestines removed. Quite horrible. The friend I ran into is now working in Deloitte and hates consulting (who doesn't!). It all made me think about life, what I'm doing with it, what I want... I guess the important thing is not to stress and to take oneself seriously, but not too seriously. Not letting it slip away but not stressing about every step. Tricky, but not as much as we think, I guess. I would say it's about enjoying while not getting ourselves in situations we won't be able to get out of. Here I am, getting philosophical!